Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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