Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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