well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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