i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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