Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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