my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
