YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
