He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can't special order awesome
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
