this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
