is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize