:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My dick has a subreddit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
