Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
