Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize