girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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