so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
