if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
