help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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