i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
