im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize