I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
