wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
