We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
