get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
NoShamevember. You game?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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