Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
