Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize