We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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