Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize