I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
one might say we're banned from that church
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
