If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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