Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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