I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
