I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
