that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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