Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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