i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
