why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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