some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
