i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
