So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
