Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
