so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
