I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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