So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I could make wine with my vomit
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
