Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
