Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize