what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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