careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
