I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
