I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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