the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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