If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
