i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
