Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize