What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
