My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
