dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
