I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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