I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day