I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
a search helicopter?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico