She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls