so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
