some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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