I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
