This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
