4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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