how can u be prego again
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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