No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
