He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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