Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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