When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
