Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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