so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
