fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
