and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
